Somebody's Mother's Baby Shower Gift Tote

Somebody's Mother's Baby Shower Gift Tote includes:

• Baby Onesie: Because everyone is Somebody's Mother's;

• Baby Blanket: The best baby blanket ever: the one they give you at the hospital that you love so much you try to steal more of them and then you get busted on the way home and the hospital makes you feel terrible for stealing and you have to plead post-partum delusion for the first, but not the last, time;

• 11 oz Styrofoam Cups (4): from which you, your mother, your female OBGYN and your female anesthesiologist will swill something alcoholic (just one) and celebratory like... juice; Additional cups for your male support system who will have fainted during delivery are available for $10;

• Red Pill Box: to house tylenol, baby aspirin, valium, prozac, ambien and estrogen which you will need in successive order through your child's graduation from high school;

• Comforts for Baby® Diapers: which will one day, if you're lucky, be replaced by your own diapers;

• Tote (pink or blue): to house stuff, usually dirty from now on: dirty diapers, dirty bibs, dirty clothes, dirty tennis shoes, dirty sippy cups (often embellished by something green of unidentifiable origin), dirty pacifiers plus all school forms in triplicate;

• Somebody's Mother's Chocolate Sauce (9.5 oz): because some really good old things, like you, never change.